Rewire for Wealth: 3 Steps for Wealth & Well-being with Barbara Huson

This week on Less Stressed Life Podcast, I am joined by Baraba Huson. We discuss money mindset and wealth well-being. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Financial success is not just a practical process; it's a healing journey
• What an underearner is & why more women are underearners 
• The three levels of financial development

GUEST SHARED HELPFUL TIPS ON:

• How to rewire your brain for financial success

How to raise children in good relation in money

ABOUT GUEST:
Barbara Huson (previously known as Barbara Stanny), is the leading authority on women, wealth and power. As a bestselling author, financial therapist, teacher & wealth coach, Barbara has helped millions take charge of their finances and their lives.   

Barbara's background in business, her years as a journalist, her Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, her extensive research, and her personal experience with money give her a unique perspective and makes her the foremost expert on empowering women to live up to their financial and personal potential.

Barbara is the author of 7 books, her newest, Rewire for Wealth, was published in 2021.

You can learn more about Barbara and her work at  www.Barbara-Huson.com

WHERE TO FIND       :
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/barbarahusonofficial/

Website:  www.Barbara-Huson.com

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TRANSCRIPT:

Barbara (00:00):
Everything we see, everything we do, every choice we make is controlled by our brain and trying to change our behavior without trying to change our brain. It's such a struggle. It's really hard to change.

Christa (00:16):
Stress is the inflammation that robs us of life, energy, and happiness. Our typical solutions for gut health and hormone balance have let a lot of us down we're overmedicated and underserved at the less stressed life. We are a community of health savvy women exploring solutions outside of our traditional western medicine toolbox in training to raise the bar and change our stories. Each week, our hope is that you leave our sessions inspired to learn, grow, and share these stories to raise the bar in your life and home.

(00:58):
Today on the Less stress life I have Barbara Houston, previously known as Barbara Stan, who's a leading authority on women wealth and power. As a bestselling author, financial therapist, teacher and wealth coach, she's helped millions take charge of their finances and their lives. Her background in business, her years as a journalist, her master's degree in counseling, psychology, extensive research and personal experience with money, give her a unique perspective and make her the foremost expert on empowering women to live up to their financial and personal potential. She's the author of seven books. Her newest Rewire for Health was published in 2021. And I learned about Barbara on another podcast that a friend sent me, loved the interview, read the book. And I want you to know this episode is for everyone. And I told her this before I hit record, that so much of what she says about wealth a hundred percent translates into health. So we will jump all into that. Welcome Barbara.

Barbara (01:51):
Thank you so much for having me, Krista.

Christa (01:53):
Yeah. So I wanted to preface this because how we grew up is such a big part of our money mindset. I remember telling a coach one time that I didn't really care about money, and he said, I don't think that that is going to serve you the way you just described it. So I want you to go out, do some money mindset work. And I grew up with parents telling me that I didn't need to know about this or that it wasn't a big deal. And you kind of grew up maybe with a little bit of a similar background. Will you tell us a little bit about how you grew up and that money story, how it kind of carried you into your early

Barbara (02:27):
Life? Yeah. I grew up in a wealthy family. My father was the R of H and R Block, and the only advice he ever, ever gave me about money was, don't worry, just like yours, Chris. Well, I don't know what your said. Don't worry. But I love that advice. I didn't understand money, I just wanted to spend it. And under those words, don't worry, was the unspoken assumption they'll always be a man to take care of you, which was great cuz there was always a man. First there was my father, and then I married a man who was a stockbroker. So he was perfect, right? Well, I found out very early in our marriage that he was a compulsive gambler. And over the course of our marriage, I stayed with him for 15 years. Every year I'd find out many times during the year he was losing my money, my inheritance.

(03:18):
And here's the insane part, I continue to let him manage the money for 15 years because that's how terrified I was and intimidated by anything financial. Finally, after 15 years, we got a divorce and I decided I do not wanna deal with money. Money's not my thing. Well I have this theory now. If you don't deal with your money, your money will deal with you. And your coach was so right to give you that advice. And what happened to me is that I got tax bills for way over a million dollars, almost 2 million. My ex had left the country. I did not have anywhere close to a million dollars and my father wouldn't lend me the money. And that's when I knew I had to get smart. I had to get smart. So I did all the things you're supposed to do. I read the books, I went to classes and my eyes would glaze over, my brain would fuck up, and I just felt terminally stupid.

(04:14):
But I had three girls and I was not going to raise them on the street. And I believe I didn't know how I was gonna do it, honestly. I did not know how I was gonna get smart and how I was gonna figure this stuff out. But I really believe when you make a commitment, the down to your toes, no back door commitment. The universe revolves to help you reach your goal. And I was a journalist working for the San Francisco Business Times and I was hired to interview and for a writing project to interview women who were smart with money. And those interviews changed my life. I not only became smart with money, but I wrote my first book, prince Charming isn't Coming How Women Get Smart About Money. And suddenly I had this whole new career traveling all over the country doing financial education for women, but I couldn't make money no matter what I did. I could not make money and you can ask my children. I was gone all the time. So I started interviewing women who made lots of money and that became my second book, secrets of Six Figure Women. And I started making six figures three times more than I ever made before I even finished writing the book. And now seven books later here I am talking to you, Krista, as a financial expert. I mean, who could have predicted

Christa (05:29):
That? It's such a fun story. I adore it. And you brought up, you said, if you don't deal with your money it'll deal with you. But I find that if we think hard enough or if you've been fortunate enough to not to have that experience, I'm sure we've all had an experience, whether it's been pointed out or not, I've had some, as my friend calls 'em real rich lessons this year. But essentially the coaches that I've brought into my life said, if you don't deal with this essential fraud issue, then you'll just keep attracting those into your life. So yeah, for me it was like someone was fraudulent in my life and she said, if you don't deal with that, you're just keep attracting those problems. If you don't deal with a problem, it's just gonna come back and keep trying to teach you the lesson somewhere else. The more you try to shove it away. And so that's what I thought of when you said, when you don't deal with something, it'll deal with

Barbara (06:18):
You. Yeah, it is so too. Cause problems are here to help us grow the zen saying the obstacle is the path. So wherever the problem is, that's where you need to go. You become your best self <affirmative>. But I'll tell you, when that problem struck and those tax bills came and I didn't understand money, it seemed like the end of the world. To me it didn't seem like the beginning of a whole new life, which is what it

Christa (06:43):
Became. Yeah, I mean I'm sure it's a very dark place when you're in the middle of a money can be a very ugly topic when there's a lot of scarcity around it. And I'd love to know, I mean you are very concise with that story. I know you've probably told it several times and it's a beautiful story cuz there's a happy ending. But I mean it was an ugly thing,

Barbara (07:05):
But the main,

Christa (07:07):
How did you handle it?

Barbara (07:08):
It was more painful than anything. It was more painful just to see. I just felt so incompetent. And so, I don't know, just illiterate, I just felt ignorant. But the fact that I addressed it, and this is what I see happening all the time when people really say I'm taken charge, no matter how overwhelming it seems, you become different. You change and it is a miraculous process.

Christa (07:36):
And I do wanna hear about how you decided to change. I think there was a story where one of the other pieces is that someone, was it a course in miracles or there was some kind of personal development journey? Obviously the whole thing's a personal development journey, but there was some catalysts along the way in addition to your career. Will you tell us how that kind of came into play?

Barbara (07:53):
Oh, there were many catalysts, <laugh>, many catalysts I have come to believe for me and so many of the people I work with, that financial success is not just a practical process, but it is a healing journey. It is a spiritual practice. It is for women, a right of passage into our power. And that's what I realized it was. It wasn't about the money, it was about me owning my power. And when I wrote my first book, prince Charming has been coming and I was interviewing all these women who were smart with money. I made it such an interesting observation. I noticed that their success began when they started taking back their power. And I remember asking a psychologist in doing my research who specialized in financial issues, and I said to her, why are women so afraid of their power? And she said something that really gave me full body chills. She said, because powerful women have been burned at the stake. And I believe that it is part of our collective unconsciousness, our collective consciousness or unconsciousness that we women are terrified of taking our power back because for generations we have suffered dire consequences have been severely punished for that.

Christa (09:15):
It was like something handed down to us almost.

Barbara (09:18):
It was something that happened to us. It was something that happened. The patriarchy has been very meticulous about working to eradicate women's sense of autonomy, sovereignty and power. But I think what's happening is women are waking up and really starting to take it back. And I think part of the problem is we don't understand power from a feminine perspective. The patriarchy defines power as power over, but not us. My definition of a powerful woman is someone who knows who she is, who knows what she wants and expresses that in the world unapologetically. So in other words, our fear of power is our fear of becoming all that we can be. And it's not the money, it's who we have to become to become a container that can attract, that can maintain, and they can grow our wealth.

Christa (10:17):
This reminds me, I wanted to share, I recently had an interesting interaction. I was in a meeting with my financial advisor who's a man, and this tax strategist was a man. And it was the most awkward meeting I have been in a very long time to the point where I've made some new decisions after that had all these men in these financial areas of my life. And it was like they were having a chest bumping contest in the meeting. And I've never used, I've never had to use this term, but I was feeling very mansplained too. And I thought this is so bizarre and awkward and unusual. And I kinda came away from that with a revelation that all of these financial people in my life are men. And I am a woman and I want some women in my corner, but it's easier to find the men in the corner than the women for this reason. Maybe that that was my experience that, oh, I fell into looking to maybe it was my own issues where, oh, I fell into working with men before I fell into working with women. But it was a good discovery to stop and say, I do not like this <laugh>. There is no feminine energy here working in my favor.

Barbara (11:23):
So did you find somebody else?

Christa (11:25):
Yes, I found women, I got rid of some of the men and brought in some women and everything. Like you said, the obstacle is the path. It's like, oh, I really don't like this at all. It's very uncomfortable, it's very stressful. Which is in direct dissonance of my core values. And so I excused myself from those relationships and looked for some feminine perspective. But I love the way you described this, the power from a feminine perspective is knowing what you want, want and expressing

Barbara (11:54):
Mean, who you are and what you want. But not just that knowing, but expressing that in the world unapologetically. Yeah, we tend to silence ourselves and we tend to water ourselves down so we don't make waves. And that's not what we're here to do. We are here to make, to really cast long shadows. We are here to make an impact

Christa (12:16):
That has become more of the next generation has really looked for purpose. And you're speaking to so much purpose and money. I think that happens with money. It becomes such a, I don't know what words, essentially very tactical, black and white. And it's not black and white. In fact, you talk a lot about money not really having to do with money at all, but mostly emotions. So you may have covered that a little bit overall. And I don't know where my question is about that, but in general, money is more about emotions than anything else as you may feel like you've already gone over.

Barbara (12:47):
Well, let me just put it this way. What I have discovered over the 30, almost 30 years I've been doing this is really financial success is a four pronged process. It is the outer work of wealth, which is the practical, and that's what most the male financial industry focuses on. But if you have a hard time getting it, which I did in which most of my clients do, it's important to look at the inner work of wealth, which is the psychological, which is the emotional and the looking at your attitudes, beliefs, and early decisions you made about yourself and money. But there's also what I call the higher work of wealth. And that's the spiritual, because I believe we were all here, all here put on this planet for a purpose and you can't possibly pursue your purpose and playful out if you're struggling to make ends meet and drowning in debt. And also we women, as we've reached financial stability, we're not really motivated by money. We may want money, but what really motivates us is the opportunity to help others. And that's our motivation. And the fourth prong of this financial success is what I call the deeper work of wealth. And that's my latest research is how the mind and the brain work together. And when you understand that you can quickly and efficiently shift your behaviors to wealth building behaviors,

Christa (14:13):
<affirmative>, I couldn't agree more that we're motivated by the opportunity to help others after we've kind of gotten what we need on. You brought up that the inner work has to do with these early decisions and I'd love to hear about how you feel about raising children as a parent in money. What are some of the things that we're doing as a parent? I know in your experience you were told, don't worry. And in my experience my parents said, you don't need to worry about that. That's not for you to be involved in right now. So I just took that as a, I'm not going to learn anything about it type thing. What advice would you give to parents and especially as someone who had some faced some very challenging things as a single mother with three girls, what are some of the mistakes that parents make and what is your advice to parents for raising kids?

Barbara (14:56):
Let me tell you what I did. I don't know that I have across the board advice, but I think it's really important. One of the things that I did is when I really started my journey to get smart about money, I shared everything with my kids. One was just a baby, she was too young. But my two oldest, I really talked about it in ways that were not scary for them. I kept reassuring them. But we talked about money. I even took them with me to meet with financial planners. And I remember my youngest daughter, I dunno, she maybe nine years old, she fell asleep, but I swear some of it went in. It went in their subconscious because they are all really good about money. And the other thing I think is important to talk about money, but it's not the words you used, it's the role modeling.

(15:44):
And one of the things that inspired me, because I hated this whole subject called money, it terrified me, it intimidated me. It just seemed overwhelming. But I did not want to be this kind of role model for my kids. And so my kids were the ones that inspired me to get smart to get my act together. And so it's important to talk about it. It's important to model the healthy behaviors and it's important to start them off. I did my kids with allowances and one of the things I did that, I didn't make this up but I read about it, is I gave my kids each three jars and we labeled them, what do we label them? One was for saving, one was for spending and one was for giving. And so they took their allowance and they divided it into three parts. Part they put in Duke they could spend for themselves part. They saved and part for giving and it was really good. It really taught my kids the value of saving and the value of philanthropy. Even when my youngest, I don't know, she was just this little thing when she took her little jar with filled with pennies and nickels and dimes to the, what do they call, where they adopt pets? The

Christa (16:57):
Humane Society.

Barbara (16:58):
Humane Society, <affirmative>. I just could feel her heart bursting with pride handing those people her money and they were so excited to have it.

Christa (17:07):
Yeah, kids have the, it's like you are allowing them to expand on that very a natural suite inclination that they have and kind of let them lean into it and then build that skill. The best thing I ever did was have my kids create, essentially make their own money and spend their own <laugh>. It is such a stress reliever for me rather than going to a store and having them ask for things like, you have your own money, you can spend it on what you like. It is my favorite thing.

Barbara (17:33):
Exactly.

Christa (17:34):
So you talk about women being under earners. Will you define what an under earner is and why women are under earners?

Barbara (17:40):
An under earner has nothing to do with the amount you make. An under earner is anyone who needs or desires to earn more, but for whatever reason and not I, I'd love to make more money, but if you've ever said that chances are you're an under earner and an under earner has nothing to do with how much you make, you can make six figures and still be an under earner. And here's the thing, you can earn much left and not be an under earner. I have three daughters. One's an organic farmer, one owns a movie theater and one's a stay-at-home mom. None of them are high earners, but they are not earners. They make enough to meet their needs and they're doing what they love that feeds their soul. Underearning is never a conscious choice. It never feeds your soul. It is always a condition of deprivation and not just of money, but a time of joy, of choices of most of all.

Christa (18:39):
So I think about that brings up all of those. I think anytime money is a problem, it's around scarcity overall. So you did talk about this four pieces of framework of wealth, but you also talk about three steps for wealth, wellbeing and anything else you need. And I don't think we've covered that.

Barbara (18:55):
So creating wealth is very simple. It's kinda like dieting. We all know how to lose weight. You eat less and you exercise more, right? Simple. But there's a billion dollar industry out there to help you lose weight. It's the same with wealth building. Only three things you need to do. You spend less, you save more and you invest wisely. That's it. But those three, there's a whole industry out there to help you do that.

Christa (19:23):
There is a whole industry out there to help you do that. And it does make people kind of glaze over a little bit when you think about investing.

Barbara (19:30):
I know it's not that hard to, I glazed over all the time. I glazed over until I was in my late forties. I'll tell you a story, I'll tell you a story of my glazing over. I couldn't get it. I had my master's degree in counseling psychology. I'm smart. I built a business, I couldn't get it. And I went to a therapist and I remember sitting in a chair and I remember saying to him, oh my God, I wanna get smart about money. I really do. You've gotta help me. I wanna get smart about money so bad. And he looked me in the eye and he said to me, no, you don't. And it was like someone took the air outta my defenses. I couldn't argue. That was the first time I realized there was a part of me that didn't wanna get smart. They didn't wanna manage money.

(20:13):
I was terrified. I had no idea. But I realized talking to him, I was terrified that if I tried to manage my money, I'd lose everything better to let my husband do that, I was terrified that my parents would be mad at me. And I really was scared that a man wouldn't love me if I was financially successful. And it was only when with my therapist that we started exploring those beliefs that it was like the veils lifted and I could see and I could understand financial literature and my statements that once look Swahili to me. So I think the inner work and the outer work really go hand in

Christa (20:53):
Hand. So you just kind of shared that your therapist unveiled this inner realization that you had not really processed yet, which was that you didn't really wanna know because of these core beliefs that you

Barbara (21:06):
Had. Yes, that's right. It was shocking to me, but it didn't take long once I got to those beliefs to dispense with them.

Christa (21:15):
And how did you identify those beliefs? Because you were easy to describe them there.

Barbara (21:20):
Just exactly the same way. Our beliefs are right there. They may be below our consciousness, but they're right there waiting to come up. And when he said, no, you don't want to, suddenly that truth came to light, that truth that I'd been denying that I was too scared. I'd been denying it once. I stopped denying it in that moment, he said, tell me why you don't want to. And it just came out, what if I blow it? What if my parents don't talk to me? What if mammal it just came out and it's right there. It was all right there. And then he said, no wonder you avoid money. It's an act of self-protection. Mm

Christa (22:02):
Believe.

Barbara (22:03):
I believe that all self-sabotaging behaviors like my avoidance, financial avoidance is such a self sabotaging behavior. But all it is is an act of self protection. And once you understand why you are protecting what you're protecting, what happens is that fear center in your brain quiets down and the thinking part of your brain goes back online and you can start seeing things differently.

Christa (22:30):
I love it. Self-protection, all self-sabotaging behavior is self-protection. I couldn't agree more. That's really as primitive as our brain really is. It's like just some really convoluted story we've told ourselves in an effort to self-protect so we're not hurt. So that was kind of the first step in, you are rewiring, but you have a whole book on rewiring for financial success. So what were the steps that came after that, after you had essentially the awareness or the realization?

Barbara (22:59):
The book is called Rewire for Wealth,

Christa (23:01):
Rewire for,

Barbara (23:02):
But it could be called Rewire for Health or Rewire for Fun or Rewire for Great Sex. It could be rewire for anything because everything, our behavior, everything we see, everything we do, every choice we make is controlled by our brain. And trying to change our behavior without trying to change our brain is such a struggle. It's really hard. It's really hard to change, as I said earlier, when you understand that the brain controls our behavior, but our brain, that organ in our head is sculpted, is shaped by our mind. And our mind is that non-physical entity in our consciousness that is the source of our thoughts and our feelings. And it's the thoughts we think. It's the feeling we have over and over again that goes to those brain cells and they start talking to each other and they keep talking and keep saying the same thoughts. And it build these neuro pathways and these neuro pathways grow deeper. And these neuro pathways are what determine our behavior and trying to go against a deeply embedded neural pathway is going against gravity.

Christa (24:13):
I think one of the reasons that this is interesting for me and it's easy for me to transpose wealth and health is because this is, neuroplasticity is a topic that I talk about in health all of the time. So in your work, would you say when you're working with clients, neuroplasticity or working on reprogramming neural pathways is a huge piece of it?

Barbara (24:30):
It did. It came about six years ago. About six years ago. Just the strangest thing happened. I started losing interest in my work. I just started becoming like, I didn't wanna do this work, which this is like what shocking to me. This was more than a job. This was my ministry, this is my mission, this is my purpose. And I couldn't figure out what was going on. And I felt like something was missing. Something was missing and I couldn't figure out what it was. So I did something really smart. I surrendered. I just gave it. I said, okay, God, if you want me to see what's missing, show me. I don't know what to do. And so I kind of started kinda stepped back and stopped taking on new clients, stop speaking, stop doing all these things. And I just gave myself time. And one day I was on my email and this article on neuroscience came in my inbox.

(25:25):
I had no idea what neuroscience was. I knew it was a study, the brain, but beyond that. And I started reading it and I thought, oh my God, I swear, I bet my brain lit up like a Christmas tree because that I knew was the missing piece. So it hadn't always been part, but I knew. So I started studying neuroscience and started integrating into my work. And it took about four years to really develop a strategy of formula for reprogramming, rewiring our brain to do it simply and efficiently. And so I can talk more about that if

Christa (25:56):
You want. I'd love for you to talk more about that. That's the perfect segue.

Barbara (25:59):
Okay, <laugh>. So essentially I came up after much experimentation and work and trial and error with three steps, simple, simple steps to rewire your brain. They are incredibly, remarkably simple, but massively difficult in the beginning. The first couple of weeks, it really requires vigil. So let me tell you the three steps quickly and then I'll explain it a little more detail. Perfect. The three steps are recognize, reframe, respond differently, recognize, reframe, respond differently. So here's what you do because honestly we create our world by the choices we make. And the choices we make are determined by the thoughts. When you wanna change your life or anything, you simply shift your home. So let's say money's a problem and you find yourself thinking, there's just never enough, there's never enough, or I'm not enough. But you find yourself thinking it. So what you do in you first recognize the thought that's causing your problem or that is accompanying your problem.

(27:15):
You capture the thought, there's never enough. And I want you to recognize it in a certain way. You recognize it with curiosity and you distance yourself from the thought because thoughts are not truth. Thoughts are just statements that are repeated over and over again that it becomes so embedded in the brain that they feel like truth but they aren't. So you recognize it with curiosity. Isn't that interesting? I'm having a thought about not I am there is not enough or I am not enough. I'm having a thought about there not being enough or I'm having a thought about I'm not enough. Because what that does is a distancing. And that distancing it seems it's very powerful. I learned with myself and I learned with my clients without doing this first step, the other steps aren't as effective. So you just, isn't that interesting? I'm having a thought about.

(28:10):
And the second step is you reframe it. You ask yourself, how can I see this differently? And you come up with an affirmation or short statement that you can replace that negative, unhealthy, maladaptive thought with. And you won't believe it. You will absolutely think it's bs. It is not true. That doesn't matter. Cause you didn't believe those first, those original thoughts either. So instead of I'm not enough, you can say, oh, there's plenty. Now you don't believe it. Of course you don't believe, but you keep saying it over and over and over. There's plenty. There's more than enough. I have enough. You keep saying it and it's what happens. Something really magical happens that you stop feeding the neural pathway that says there's not enough. And it starts shrinking while you feed the pathway that says, oh, there's more than enough. And it starts building.

(29:01):
So you recognize the thought with curiosity, you reframe it with a positive statement that you say over and over again, and then you respond differently than you normally would. As if that reframe, as if that positive statement was true. Mars normally, for example, when I was trying to understand money, I would just stop. I would just forget it then I would instead, I would force myself to read a paragraph more than I understood. If I'm not enough is I wanna change to, there's plenty. I would do things like, oh, maybe if I save $50 a month, month I could save up and there would be more than enough. So you start engaging in behaviors that are different that you normally would and your brain will say, no, don't do that. Don't do that. You don't listen. So you absolutely recognize with curiosity, reframe with a positive statement and respond differently than you normally would. And you will be amazed. You will be absolutely fricking amazed. You do that really, really vigilantly. Your life will change in a very short time, a matter of weeks and months.

Christa (30:10):
I like wanna give that whole concept a big hug and embrace it. I love it so much and I love that it's easy to remember, recognize, reframe, and respond differently. And I wanna ask about another R. What about your clients that have resistance to that? Or how have you navigated clients that are a little bit resistance? Because that happens too. And those are the hardest people. And I mean, for me, that's kinda the stop gate. And I'm like, how do I help you, <laugh> tell

Barbara (30:36):
You that every client has resistance? Because resistance is simply a psychological term for, I don't wanna do this because our brain hates to change. It doesn't wanna change. Our brain wants to try it. And true, because our brain has only one purpose since our ancient, ancient ancestors, our brain developed for one purpose only, our survival and to keep us safe. So every time we go to do something new, which means going outside of our comfort zone, it doesn't feel safe. So we go into resistance. And this is really important. It's a wonderful concept. I actually think resistance is a good sign. When my clients go into, when I go into resistance, hell, I go into resistance all the time. And I always think, oh, that's good. Cause I wouldn't go into resistance if I wasn't about to leave my comfort zone. And success can only be found outside your comfort zone.

(31:26):
So success, so resistance basically is really means a internal conflict. And what that means, all resistance is the result of an internal conflict. Part of you wants to move ahead and part of you doesn't. And this is really valuable. And so what you need to do, what I do with me and what I do with my clients is get to know that part that doesn't want to get to know what it's afraid of, what it's payoff or staying where it is, and start having those two part get on the same page, how they can help each other, how they can work together. And that's a whole process you can do through voice dialogue, through dialoguing between the two parts.

Christa (32:10):
<affirmative>. Yeah. It's a lot of times when you just speak things out loud, sometimes it solves them, right? We don't realize all that internal chaos and complex. Sometimes we're wrapping around on the inside,

Barbara (32:20):
We don't. And there's always, whenever there's resistance, there is internal conflict. It's just that simple. And you just say, what part of me doesn't wanna move forward and what part does? And that's the conversation.

Christa (32:33):
So so far we've covered your history and kind of how trying to put our head in the sand to my finances ultimately means that we're gonna have problems with it. Sometimes if you don't deal with your money, it will deal with you. We've talked about this framework about money, the outer work of wealth and the inner work of wealth, psychology, emotion, beliefs, early decisions. We talked about deeper work, we talked about parents role modeling. We talked about under earners, we talked about rewiring for health, which was recognizing, reframing and responding differently. Is there anything you wanna add to that? Because my other question or last question is what's next for you? You said you're kind of delving into the consciousness piece of financial, the brain and brain and emotions.

Barbara (33:18):
Oh, I'm more than dumping into it. Yeah, I've kinda delved. I kinda delved. I know that's very exciting. What I'm doing now is, the other thing as a part of this neuroscience research I discovered is that women especially learn best on any topic, but especially money, but on any type they learn best when they're in groups of other women. <affirmative> that there's something about being supported, being held accountable, seeing other people's progress, knowing you're not alone. Hearing people say the same things you've been feeling, but you've never heard other people say before. Something about that affects a part of a woman's brain that allows them to learn quicker and better. So I've had it for about four or five years now, but I'm growing. It is a online community called the Wealth Connection, and it's been a dream of mine to have a safe place where women come together to talk about money and we do not talk about money. Men talk about money, we talk about the practical for sure, but we also talk about the emotional, we talk about the spiritual and we just lift each other up. And we also have guest experts come and talk about money and we have a book club and we have masterclass. We just have all kinds of things. So that's exciting for me is seeing the rapid progress that occurs in groups. You just don't get on your

Christa (34:45):
Own. That is so fun to hear because I've spent the last year trying to cultivate and successfully now creating essentially a group experience in addition to one-on-one. And I would agree with you, there's something about it. People love to come and learn from each other and realize that they're not alone. So hearing you reiterate that or share that, that's what you found is really powerful, is wonderful. And I will say that I have been in a handful of groups and I hadn't thought about it until you just said that there are not great. You have to find a community that you can talk safely about money to. And they're so frequently there's women, they don't have anyone to talk to about it. And so I'm glad that you are providing that space for them. Barbara, where can people find you online?

Barbara (35:28):
I think the best place is my website, which is barbara.com.

Christa (35:34):
Well, thank you so much for coming on today. And I didn't share this, but when you said I became disinterested in work, we have those kinds of conversations with my colleagues as well. It's like there's a boredom piece where it's like, I must find a new challenge, <laugh> sometimes, and you don't struggle to find a new challenge. It sounds like there's always another book or always a new project and thank you.

Barbara (35:56):
Oh, but there's always the gap before the new. Yes. There's always that place where something wants, it's like you go into this gestation and you don't know what's happening and there's all this stuff going on inside, but you don't know that <affirmative> and then it kinda bursts through the ground like a little pedal and it grows.

Christa (36:16):
If someone said once that all the best things come out of, I don't know if this is the exact term, but I'm gonna use this term like a good discontent or a happy discontent. I don't know if that was exactly what it was, but he said if we wouldn't have light bulbs, if we weren't happily discontent. If we weren't like, well, this is okay, but I would be cool if I could see after 7:00 PM at night in the winter.

Barbara (36:36):
I think it just doesn't come from happy discontent. I think it comes from miserable discontent too.

Christa (36:41):
Absolutely. Yes. Change we're all, I'm always intrigued by what brings people to action and the concept or the thing that comes up a lot is either inspiration or desperation, but it's usually desperation. Yeah. Barbara houston.com Thank you so much for joining me today and for sharing for being a light on finance for women.

Barbara (37:02):
Thank you.

Christa (37:03):
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